Medicine VS Natural
So, this is the enigma I have been wrestling with, should I take prescription medicine for my battle with depression and anxiety or shall I forgo the induced numb state and continue to deal with my ailments the holistic natural way. Of course, I prefer to do the latter but lately, I feel the depression and anxiety is taking over, it has gotten worse due to many factors. Factors such as being a Stay-at-home-mom, transitioning to becoming a working mom, being a mom of 3, trying to be a good mom, not being sure of myself, my relationship with my partner, deciding to put school on hold again, my unhealthy relationship with my parents and siblings, lack of family support, my PTSD, the remnants of growing up in a dysfunctional household, being raised by a narcissistic mother and being abandoned by my biological father.
I wake up almost every morning with anxiety manifested mentally by racing thoughts and physically by butterflies in my stomach. And I battle with bouts of depression throughout the day. I take vitamins, do my affirmations, readings, yoga, prayer and meditation, which all work when I’m consistent, but it’s challenging to be consistent when life is so stressful and overwhelming. I understand that my anxiety and depression is at it’s climax because of the grieving process I’m going though and I am finally deciding to stop living in the fog. This journey is not really supported by those who continue to live in the fog, which once you try to escape it, you realize how many people in your life and around you actually live in the fog.
Sometimes it feels as it will just be easier to just pop some pills and live in the fog, ignorance is bliss right? WRONG, living in blissful ignorance is a temporary, and it’s just a façade. No one lives blissfully in ignorance. The older you get the more you have to do in order to avoid reality and maintain that pseudo-blissful state. You either have to medicate, distract yourself with addictions and/or build up a host of defense mechanism (the main one is denial), in order to placate this form of bliss. So, is it really Bliss?
Taking prescription meds may create some immediate temporary relief from my ailments, but ultimately, it’s like putting a Band-Aid over a deep open wound and broken bone. Prescriptions meds provide temporary relief to the symptoms of depression and anxiety, but doesn’t cure it. The only way to truly cure depression and anxiety is to deal with the root cause. The Healing process can be long, painful and arduous, but it’s worth it. It takes patience and persistence, life skills that are not really taught and nurtured in a fast-paced microwave effect society. In order to truly heal, we have to learn how to tolerate emotional pain without trying to medicate it away. We have to take it “One day at a Time”.
Yesterday I was thinking about talking to my doctor about prescribing medicine but today I’m choosing to continue my healing journey the natural way. I truly want to heal and to help others heal!
*Side Note: I don’t judge anyone who prefers to use medicine. And I’m open to having a conversation with both those who choose to take medication and those who don’t. Another part of the healing process is talking about it, so we don’t feel isolated and alone. Having Depression and Anxiety or any other mental illnesses is not our fault and we shouldn’t have to deal with it in isolation.